When you’re done reading, don’t forget to grab this sheet of 20 Quick Tips for Sleep, Fitness, Food, and Energy

Let’s cover the last topic in our series this month: Energy!

Here are your 5 Quick Tips, plus a bonus:

1. Get a little sun.  The sun actually biologically affects your mood.  That means if you’re stuck in the office for too long, the lack of sun could be dragging down your energy levels.  Just a few minutes to walk outside and take a deep breath of fresh air while soaking up some sun can feel amazing.

2. Tackle an annoying to-do.  Ever have something on your to-do list that you really want to get done, that probably won’t take that long, but that you keep putting off day after day because you have too much going on?  Do that thing.  Crossing off (with a big check mark!) an annoying to-do like that can make you feel great and give you a natural boost of energy.

3. Move.  It’s not surprising that we feel less-than-bright-eyed-and-busy-tailed when we’re sitting in an office chair staring at a document for a few hours.  It’s easy to feel like we can’t wake up or snap out of that stagnant, sluggish place.  Sometimes though, all it takes is a little movement – stand up, stretch, jog in place, or go for a quick walk.  It’s often hard to remember to do those simple things, but they can have a huge difference.

4. Listen to an upbeat song (preferably one that makes you want to dance).  I’m guessing you have a song or two that, when it comes up on your playlist, or you hear it at the store, you just can’t help but dance a little and sing along.  (Happened to me yesterday evening, and I admit, I danced a little down a store aisle while running errands.)  Next time you need a boost, shut your office door, play that song….and maybe dance just a little.

5. Fake it.  Take a deep breath, sit up straight and tall, and let yourself break into a huge grin.  Pretending you’re in a great, energetic mood can actually move you in that direction.  If you need a little help, think of or watch something that makes you laugh.  (For example, I could watch it a million times, and the happiest penguin ever YouTube video still makes me smile every time.  Takes under 60 seconds, even after sitting through a quick ad.  Totally worth it.)

Bonus: Follow the other quick tips.  Not surprisingly, the other issues we talked about this month – sleep, fitness, and food – all have a big impact on your energy level, so keeping those items in check can keep your energy levels up on a daily basis.  Make it easier: here’s a handy one-page reminder of all 20 tips that we discussed this month.

Let’s also remember why we’re taking the time to talk about things like sleep, fitness, food, and boosting your energy.  Being a lawyer is not easy, and being a woman lawyer is definitely not easy.  WLN is here to help you through all the frustrating things that can make your day-to-day tough, from issues that directly affect women lawyers, like gender equity issues and stumbling blocks to advancing women in our profession, to more seemingly-simple issues like building great habits and staying healthy.  This community is here to to make your day-to-day better so you can be every bit as amazing as you are, let’s keep it going!

I used to beat myself up daily about what I didn’t get done that day. There were unfinished items on my to-do list at work, or I hadn’t been going running lately, or I didn’t make it to the grocery store to buy fruit, or I still hadn’t dropped that package off at the post office, or all of those things…Ugh! I would always think that if I just pushed myself a little harder, if I could just be a little more organized and efficient, I could get it all done.

Over time, I did get much more organized, efficient, and focused – that made a huge difference – BUT it wasn’t enough. First, I had to realize how totally unrealistic I was being about what I expected from myself and my time. So, one day, I sat down and went through this calculation to figure out how many hours I really needed to get everything done. And it changed everything.

That simple, 2-minute exercise did three amazing things for me:

1. It showed me how much time I really needed to meet my expectations;
2. It proved that my expectations were absolutely unrealistic (just totally bananas);
3. It helped me see where I could be more efficient and more organized, and how to adjust my expectations to get where I wanted to be.

Total game changer.

So, do you have two minutes to see what you’re expecting of yourself?  Give it a shot.

When I did, I started thinking about things differently, and things have never been the same. I had more work to do after that to get where I wanted to be, but it all started with those two minutes.

This could be a big shift for you, so I hope you’re excited! Next week, we’ll stick to the thinking-about-things-diffently theme, and I’m pumped to see what happens for you.

PS – Here is that printable worksheet again to run your own quick two-minute calculation and see what you’re expecting of yourself. When you’re done, come on over to the Amazing Women lawyers Facebook group and let us know what you discovered.

Marketing is an important part of private practice, but often no one teaches us how to go about it. Unfortunately, lawyers rarely learn business development skills or focus enough on marketing efforts until considering partnership. Starting earlier requires effort, time, and self-discipline, but the result is worth the early investment.

What is marketing/business development?

Lawyers and law firms spend significant time and money marketing their services to attract new clients and developing business from new and existing clients. However, marketing legal services is different than marketing other products and services. Lawyers write articles, give presentations, build networks, and work to increase their visibility in certain communities, groups, and industries in hopes of attracting new clients and referrals from other professionals.

Why is business development important?

Law firm partners are typically held responsible for bringing in and maintaining a “book of business.” Lawyers with existing clients are generally more attractive to law firms considering a lateral hire of a new practitioner. Marketing is a substantial part of the practice of law.

Are you already thinking, Yeah I get it, it’s important, but what do I actually do?!? Don’t worry, we’ll get there.

So, why start now? Don’t I have plenty of time?

Given this, why should even newer lawyers be focused on business development at this point in their career?

• First, it takes years to learn marketing skills and to develop your own marketing style, and starting later than your first few years in practice can put you at a disadvantage. Instead, start asap to help maximize your chance of success.
• Marketing is very important for women. Research shows that lack of business is a major reason why women struggle to succeed in private practice and to achieve equity partner status. In addition, women are less likely to “inherit” existing firm business from other partners, increasing the pressure on women to bring in new business.
• It also takes years to develop your network and connections. For example, if you make a great connection with an industry contact at your level today and foster that relationship in the next few years, you will have a strong relationship down the road when that person is in a position of authority and able to give or refer business to you. Those who attempt to begin a relationship with that person after they reach that level of authority are at a disadvantage.
• Business development efforts are an efficient way to learn other skills that are key to a successful legal career, such as leadership and management skills.
• Finally, the changing nature of the legal market means increased competition in the legal job market as a well as increased competition among practitioners for client business. Because law firms are aware of the importance of business development, demonstrating marketing awareness and potential early in your legal career can set you apart and give you an advantage.

How do I start? What can I actually do at my stage of the game?

New lawyers often struggle to get started on business development, typically due to a few misconceptions, such as there is nothing to be done until they have enough experience to “pitch” their services to potential clients, that they need to be able to discuss complicated legal or industry topics to be able to market, or that there are no meaningful connections to be made earlier in practice.

Fortunately, none of these are true, and there are many things you can do right now, at any stage of practice.

For example, as you start practicing, work on simple things like developing and maintaining your list of contacts, as well as internal marketing by getting to know people in your firm and making sure they understand what you do. Later you can move quickly to building your experience and credibility, such as by participating in articles and presentations or joining legal or industry organizations…and much more.

If you’re still not sure exactly what to do and would love more guidance, click here to let me know so we can do something about that.

Lawyers often waste time when they try to work on marketing and networking.  We know we should spend time on business development, but we don’t always know what to do or what we’re going to get out of that time.  Sometimes we go to a networking event or write an article just to feel like we’re doing something to move forward.

Check in with your own marketing efforts by asking the following:

• Do you know exactly what you expect to get out of each one of your marketing efforts?
• Do you know who you want to reach and what is helpful to them?
• Do you know where and how to reach them?
• Do you have a marketing plan with concrete steps, clear goals, and specific time frames?

If you’re answering no to many of these questions, that’s not unusual.  After all, we don’t typically learn how to market, network, or develop new business, No one teaches us, but we’re expected to know how.  Take a few minutes to answer these questions as best you can to get the wheels turning, then we’ll dig in more as we move forward.

If you’re a newer attorney, or an attorney new to marketing, tell me what’s frustrating about it.  For those that have more experience with business development, what advice would you give to newer women attorneys, what do you wish you knew?

Today, let’s take a moment to talk about how we can sometimes set ourselves up to fail and how you can make things a little easier on yourself.

Think of something that you’d like to change in your daily life – it could be a new habit you want to develop or a goal that you’re trying to tackle – but that just isn’t working out. For example, maybe you want to spend more time on developing new business, or maybe you want to start meditating for 10 minutes a day. Yet, the days keep going by and it’s not happening. You might be frustrated, but you can’t quite figure out how to make it happen.

So often, the reason we don’t see success is simply that we’re making the goal too hard to achieve.

For example, let’s take the goal of meditating 10 minutes each day. We know that most goals don’t happen without a plan, but often our plan for getting it done is too difficult. Maybe you decided that you would take a break during the work day to spend 10 minutes meditating. But every day you get busy and distracted and either forget or don’t feel like you can stop. By picking a time during the day where it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to take a break, you’ve made the goal very difficult to achieve.

Instead, you may have better luck taking just 10 minutes (or even just 2 minutes!) to meditate in the morning, at home or in the office, when no one else is around, when your willpower is still fresh first thing in the morning, and when you don’t have any distractions. Do what you can to get the ball rolling until it becomes part of your routine.
Here are a few other examples to get your wheels turning:

• An associate wanted to restart her workout habit after it slipped a few years into practice. She decided that she would get up an hour earlier to hit the gym before heading into the office every weekday. But each morning when the alarm went off she was tired and hit snooze until it was too late to do a workout. The few times when she did get up, it took forever to get her gym clothes on and gather what she needed to shower and change for the gym. One time, she forgot her suit jacket and had to go home after anyway. Instead, she tried working out at home for just 20 minutes in the morning and aimed for three times during the week and a longer workout at the gym on the weekend. She found that getting up 20 minutes early wasn’t so bad, that even if she did hit snooze she could still do a quicker, more intense workout then go into the office only a few minutes late, and that being able to get dressed at home, instead of at the gym, made working out seem much more do-able.
• Another lawyer wanted to spend more time catching up on industry news so she could better connect with potential clients and build new business. She decided to take 20 minutes after dinner each day to read industry news in her home office and take notes. But most days she felt distracted, because her husband and two-year-old son were also in the house – she felt a little guilty not spending time with them instead and kept getting distracted. Some days she got nothing done and other days it took her an hour. Instead, she decided to start getting up 30 minutes before her family usually woke up. She found that checking industry news took only 10 minutes a day because she was more focused first thing in the morning. Plus, because her family wasn’t awake anyway, she didn’t feel like she was missing out on time with them.

Potential changes you can make (think about what is happening in the moment you miss your goal to decide which is the best fit):

• Change when you do something, e.g., pick a time during the day when you’re less likely to be distracted, like the above lawyer focusing on her marketing efforts.
• Change your goals to start with something more reasonable, e.g., meditating that 2 minutes per day everyday is better than aiming for 10 minutes and never doing it, plus you’ll have a foundation you can build on going forward.
• Remove temptations, e.g., if you’re trying to avoid checking your email constantly, close your email app/window, disable notifications, or schedule set times when you’ll allow yourself to check it.
• Remove obstacles, e.g., set out workout clothes the night before so the scramble of finding them the next morning doesn’t tempt you to skip it.

So what would you love to accomplish this month? Think about how you’ve approached it so far, and find the easier way.  Go get it!

Are you the jump out of bed and take time for yourself in the morning type? The hit the snooze button a few times then try to stay awake through a shower type? The into-email before out-of-pajamas type?

That first chunk of time that we’re awake is a unique point during the day, and intentionally designing a morning ritual can have a huge impact on your day, life, goals, health, and mood. In other words, taking the time to map out how you will spend your time as soon as you wake up – what you will do and in what order – is a very worthwhile investment.

Five Things You Should Know About Creating a Morning Ritual:

1. You really do have time.  First, if you start doing the same things you do every morning already in a set order, you’ll likely move much faster as they become habit. Then you can stack new habits on top of existing ones (e.g., think of something you’re grateful for every time you brush your teeth or do a few push-ups right before you get in the shower). It’s easy to think there’s just no time to fit even one more thing into your morning, but you really don’t need to spend much time to have a big effect. Even adding one minute of stretching or deep breaths, a quick moment to write down a goal for the day, or reading one page of an inspiring book makes a difference, especially when you do it every day. Start small, and build over time
2. It sets the tone for the day. How you spend your morning affects your day. Ever scramble to get out the door, frantically rush to work, and struggle all day to shake that stressful feeling? Imagine the opposite – spending even a small amount of time to start your day off in a better way can put you in a good mood all day.ul li
3. It saves brain power. Our brains can only make so many decisions each day. The more you automate easier parts of your morning and make them habit, the more mental energy and focus you’ll have later in the day when you really need it.
4. It’s an easy way to tackle changes you’ve been trying to make. Building changes into your morning ritual is a great way to make them easier. For example, you might drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up, eat a healthy breakfast, or do a 7-minute workout to tackle your health goals. That way, even if you get swept away with urgent matters or face distractions during the day, you’ll know you already took a few healthy steps and that you’ll reset again when you do the same thing the next morning.
5. It creates space. When we work late, then wake up the next morning and head right into email or thoughts about what meetings we have that day, the days blend together. Taking the time to go through your morning ritual, ideally with a few minutes for yourself, can create much-needed space and avoid the blur of running from one day to the next

So, what could tomorrow morning look like?  For a little inspiration, here are a few potential additions to better your morning:

• Drink a glass of water
• Do a quick workout
• Meditate
• Write or say out loud one thing you’re grateful for
• Read
• Write down your daily goals or the most important thing you need to tackle that day
• Have a healthy breakfast
• Take a short walk
• Stand in the sun or breathe in some fresh air
• Identify some small, fun thing you will do to take a break from work or relax after work that day

Here’s to to tomorrow morning!

It’s tempting to think that if we just work hard, people will notice, and we will be rewarded.  Sadly, it rarely works that way.

First, decision-makers typically notice and remember much less than you think.  That means, you’re going to need to tell them how incredible you are.  If you are not already in the habit of tracking your accomplishments, now is a good time to start.  It is unlikely that you will remember all the amazing things you do on a daily basis, so regularly write them down in one place.  You’ll be in better shape for end-of-calendar-year reviews and you’ll have a great habit started for next year.

Next, you may be putting your all into a project and knocking it out of the park, but perhaps you weren’t given an appropriately challenging assignment.  It’s common for women to be held to a different standard – watch out for lowered expectations that can limit your success.  In other words, if you are meeting expectations but your supervisor’s expectations of you are lower than others, you will not grow or advance as quickly, even if you are doing an amazing job on your matters.  Pay attention to what is expected of others and whether goals set for you are realistic.

Finally, be sure your hard work is allocated to the right tasks – those that will meet your goals and move you forward.  For example, watch out for “team player” tasks that do not advance your career. This may be “office housework” (e.g., choosing the menu for the client event, booking the holiday party, getting the administrative assistants day gifts) that tends to be handled by female professionals.  It may also be more substantive but non-billable work that does not directly bring in clients, or “good citizen” work that is otherwise not directly related to the factors on which you are evaluated (e.g., preparing a client alert, leading an internal practice group/committee/meeting).  This is the type of work that everyone has to pitch in to accomplish, but women tend to carry more of the burden.  Think about how much time you spend on these tasks compared to others.

1. GOOD Guys
2. A Law Firm Serving Women
3. Making Yourself Work When You Don’t Want To
4. More Harm Than Expected From Your Phone-Checking Habit
5. Working From Home – Especially Helpful to Women?

1.  GOOD Guys.  As you may recall, NCWBA launched the GOOD Guys (GOOD = Guys Overcoming Obstacles to Diversity) program last year and now has a GOOD Guys toolkit to help organizations, such as women’s bar associations and other groups, host their own GOOD Guys events.  The toolkit is available here.  The GOOD Guys program was “designed to appeal to men, honor their efforts, engage them, and provide information about…efforts to advance diversity, education about bias disruptors and diversity initiatives, and examples of the incredible positive impact diversity has on a corporation’s social responsibility and profitability.”  We’ve talked about the importance of involving men in gender equity efforts, and hosting your own GOOD Guys program is a great way to start those efforts in your bar association or organization.  For more information, check out the website, or email me, and I would be happy to personally connect you with a member of NCWBA’s GOOD Guys committee.

2.  A Law Firm Serving Women.  Earlier in the year, we talked about a new resource that supports women-owned law-firms.  A new law firm in the Boston area is not only founded by a woman but designed specifically to serve woman clients.

3.  Making Yourself Work When You Don’t Want To.  Over at HBR, this revived discussion digs into the reasons why you may not want to work right now (e.g., Are you afraid you’ll make a mistake?  Is it boring or difficult? …or maybe you just don’t feel like it?), discussing tips for each issue.

4.  More Harm Than Expected From Your Phone-Checking Habit.  This article over at Muse prompts you to think about whether your tendency to fill moments by checking your phone might mean you’re missing out on thinking through opportunities or meeting important people.

5.  Working From Home – Especially Helpful to Women?  Over at Ms. JD, this interesting theory suggests that perhaps, “When we work from home, our superficialities and implicit biases aren’t as much of a factor….”

Guest Post*

Women face a wide range of gender stereotypes and biases.  Men are presumed to be competent and get judged on their potential.  Women, are presumed not quite up to snuff and must prove their competence – over and over and over again.  How many times have we heard something like:

• “She’s just lucky. He’s skilled.”
• “She’s hesitant. He’s thoughtful.”
• “She’s impulsive. He’s decisive.”
• “She has trouble balancing work with her family. He’s busy.”

These stereotypes are at the very heart of why women are held back — by others and by themselves.  Women become aware at a young age that when they act forcefully or competitively, they are diverging from gender stereotypes.  If they push to get a job done, if they focus on results rather than pleasing others, they are acting like a man.  If they act like a man, people dislike them.  And, women don’t like not being liked.  So they hold back.

We call this the Goldilocks Dilemma.  Women are viewed as too tough, too soft, but rarely just right.  If they defy expectations, behave against stereotype and grab those opportunities, they are viewed as pushy, selfish, and just plain not nice.  If they act in stereotypically feminine ways, they have great difficulty in reaching for and taking advantage of the same opportunities as men. In other words, women are literally damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

*The above explanation of the Goldilocks Dilemma originally appeared in this interview with Andie Kramer and Al Harris on WLN.  For more detail on this issue, as well as valuable, concrete tips for how to improve this situation in your own career, visit Andie & Al’s article on this topic right here.  

You may think you have only one to-do list, whether you use a to-do app or keep a list on paper. However, most of us actually have more than one way of tracking our to-dos. For example, in addition to your to-do list, do you also:

• keep emails in your inbox to remind you about something you have to do?
• set a reminder on your phone to remind you to run an errand?
• put a reminder appointment in your calendar for another work task?
• leave a post-it note on your desk to remind you to return a phone call?
• leave someone’s business card in your wallet to remind you to send them an email and put them in your contacts?

In this situation, there are actually several to-do lists and methods.

Ideally you will have just one system, but sometimes we do really need more than one. For example, for one person it may be a to-do list app and phone reminders, but for someone else it may be a paper planner and extra calendar appointments. It’s not typically necessary to have more than two systems.

Checking too many places for tasks wastes time and distracts us.

So, if you have more than one way of tracking your to-dos, choose the one that makes the most sense (or two that work well together) and try sticking to that system. No more time lost to double-checking scattered to-dos – time and stress saved!

Earlier in the year, we talked about ugly thoughts (e.g., I can’t do this, I don’t belong here, I’m not smart/good/fast/creative enough, I’m not going to make it), including a cheatsheet to get rid of them quickly. But of course there is more than one way to deal with those negative thoughts. Today, let’s discuss a different approach.

One day last year, I was at a really cool aquarium that had a shallow pool exhibit where you could touch the different animals. I immediately felt conflicted. On on the one hand I was intrigued and curious, and I would probably learn something by interacting with the animals. On the other hand, I was wearing long sleeves, I was in a hurry, and there wasn’t a full hand-washing station, so things might get messy. Plus, it would be interesting enough to just observe the fish swimming by then move on to the next exhibit.

Very similar to the dilemma we face when a negative thought pops up – we’re often tempted to dwell on it, investigate it, and interact with it. But we might not have the time at that moment, we could get caught up, and things might get messy. An ugly thought is like the proverbial fish that grows to the size of its container, so it doesn’t always make sense to give it too much room in your mind.

So, the next time a negative thought pops into your head, consider whether it’s a good time to stick your hands in the water and investigate, or whether you should step back and just observe the thought in a detached way as it floats by, then go back to what you were doing. (Of course ugly thoughts are also like fish in that the same one may float on by again, but you can just watch it go by again, instead of feeding it – if you do, it’s likely to stick around.) If you use this approach, you may find that the same thought may be less interesting, tempting, and distracting each time it swims by, making ugly thoughts less disruptive over time.

Of course, it takes a little wisdom to know which approach to use and when, but a little experimenting will help you find the best fit for you.

Here’s to happier thoughts, have an awesome day!

PS – In case you missed it, following up on our to-do list topic last week, there was a great discussion about to-do list issues and tools in the Amazing Women Lawyers Facebook group.

Happy new year!  If you’re setting goals for the new year, here are two thoughts to help you succeed:

1. February 1st is the New January 1st. People often set new year’s resolutions starting January 1st. Let’s think that through a bit. You’ve just made it through the holiday season, countless parties and events, a hectic year-end at work, visits with family and friends, and new year’s celebrations. You’re just coming up for air. You’re tired. You probably feel like you need a break. This is the moment we choose to hold ourselves responsible for knocking a new goal out of the park. Eesh.

   We haven’t yet had time to think our resolutions through – Is your goal specific? (E.g., “I will go to the gym twice a week and yoga once a week.” versus just “I will work out more.”) Have you broken it down into steps? (E.g., “I will choose a gym by the 15th, sign up by the 20th, buy new sneakers on the 22nd, and start going by the 25th.”) Do you have a plan? Have you figured out how you’ll make it easier to tackle that goal? (E.g., “I will go before work so I’m not too tired, and I will set out my gym clothes the night before.”) Are you being realistic about what you can accomplish and how quickly? When January starts, we often feel the need to rest and recover. This is not a time to ask more from our brains by will-powering our way through new goals. Setting new goals is great, but if we pursue them before we have the time to plan them out or the energy to see them through, we may end up falling short and disappointed early in the year.

2. Start Small, Juggle More as You Go. We tend to make this worse by taking on too many changes at a time. Instead, we’ll often get better results by locking down small changes, bit by bit, before moving on to new ones. Think about how many changes you can realistically juggle at one time, then choose which are most important to start right away. You can even spread out new habits over the new year, instead of piling them on at once. For example, you could plan to tackle a new goal every other month, giving yourself time to form habits to support the previous goal before you move on to the next one. (There’s also this worksheet for helping you make new habits stick.)

Here’s to your most incredible year yet!
Kate

1. Issues Behind Lack of Gender Diversity at the Partnership Level
2. Building Your Self-Confidence and Addressing Self-Doubt
3. Three-MInute Mindfulness To Help Build Leadership Skills
4. Tackling Email
5. Dealing with Perfectionism So You Can Make Progress

1. Issues Behind Lack of Gender Diversity at the Partnership Level. The American Lawyer shares this article, by an ALM Intelligence Analyst, digging into the reasons behind this lack of gender diversity and encouraging firm leaders to do the same. The article shares clues to solving the problem, based on an ALM New Partners Survey, including: 1) “Women are better represented in niche practice areas” – In other words, there are higher rates of women, in Big Law, in niche practice areas that firms may not focus on as much as other areas; and 2) “Women Feel Less Prepared to Be Partner Than Men – Particularly in Business Development and Financial Training.” Women lawyers asked were also less satisfied with factors such as their responsibility for business development, training, workload, and work/life balance. Women did not feel adequately trained on partnership skills and did not feel adequately informed about partnership issues.

2. Building Your Self-Confidence and Addressing Self-Doubt. Forbes Woman shares this article suggesting a few tips for tackling doubt and growing your confidence, including: 1) learning by doing and putting yourself in situations where you have “small wins” to grow your confidence – in other words, take baby steps to accomplish your goal, such as attending a networking event if you want to work on business development skills; and 2) gaining comfort by observing others using the skills you hope to build.

3. Three-Mintue Mindfulness To Help Build Leadership Skills. Muse shares this articlesuggesting an easier-to-implement 3-minute meditation practice. Over time, this small practice can build skills including focus and avoiding distractions – key skills to leadership success.

4. Tackling Email. Bossed Up shares this article full of tips to help you get on top of your email, including: 1) Setting aside certain blocks of time to check email – this can be tough for lawyers who need to check for urgent emails, but you may be able to do more regular email checks for urgent matters, while still setting aside a certain block during the day to actually respond to and process the emails; and 2) Not checking email the moment you wake up or start your day. Try mapping out your goals for the day or making progress on a project that requires your concentration and energy before you jump into your inbox; and 3) Set your priorities/top goals for the day and stick to them, rather than letting your inbox serve as your to-do list.

5. Dealing with Perfectionism So You Can Make Progress. On the theory that wanting to have everything done perfectly and to knock everything out of the park keeps us from getting things done, Levo League shares this article full of tips to overcome that type of perfectionism, including: 1) breaking down your goal or task in to smaller pieces so you can do each step the way you want it done, even if you can’t reach the bigger picture goal perfectly all at once; 2) realizing and anticipating that things will not be perfect and knowing how you’ll handle any imperfections that arise (although they may not actually be a big deal); and 3) identifying your “hiding places,” i.e., what are those tasks/busywork items that you do to avoid the thing you really want to get done – if you know what yours are, you can catch yourself and avoid hiding out.

After thinking through what I learned in 2017 and my goals for 2018, I set what I’ll call “themes” for the new year. In other words, they’re not the traditional resolutions or goals but rather guideposts to help me stay on track and navigate through day-to-day decisions. The first two are “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.” and “Stick to the plan if the plan works.” I’ll talk about both of those today. The third is “Get uncomfortable,” but more more on that another time.

1. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.”As you may have guessed, I love to experiment with ways to make my (and your) day-to-day better, happier, and more productive. I have a tendency to continuously improve (which is great), but the truth is after years of experimenting and discovering what works well for me, things are generally running pretty smoothly and peacefully. I’ve come a long way from the way my days used to look (you may recall me talking on video last year about how practice used to feel). Experimenting and improving has become a habit (and lots of fun!), but this year I will focus on appreciating, and leaving alone, the things that are working well.

   So, how might this apply to you? What are those things that are working well for you? First, literally write them down or say them out loud, then do a little happy dance – that’s something you don’t have to fix!

   Perhaps there are other things you do want to change though. What can the things that are working well teach you about the things that are not? For example, Let’s say this past year you’ve been good about taking breaks during the work day. You put it on your calendar with a reminder, stuck to the same time every day, kept it to 5 minutes so it felt doable, and took your break right at 12:30 because you found others were out grabbing lunch and no one was looking for you. If you’re looking to make another change, such as working on business development, what can you learn from the things that are going well? Maybe you can commit to 12 minutes of work on business development planning/action each day (e.g., work on your plan and goals bit by bit, read a few pieces of industry news, send one email) so each work week you’ll have spent an hour. Considering what you learned from your success taking breaks, that may work well if you calendar that task, set a reminder, spend a small amount of time, and pick a consistent time each day when you’re not likely to be interrupted, maybe right after your break!

   Bonus: Pick something impactful! You may have things that you want to change that aren’t really a big deal, i.e., fixing them won’t have an effect on your happiness or success – so cross those goals off your list, just let that be as it is and feel the weight lifted! Then, you’ll be left with a small number of changes on your goal list. Having fewer things to change makes it more likely you’ll accomplish your goals and that those you tackle will make a difference in your day-to-day.
   
   

2. “Stick to the plan if the plan works.”
   
   By making small changes over time and thinking/planning them through, you can make a big difference to your life, success, and happiness. Then you’ll have fixed what you need fixed and adjusting/maintaining over time is much easier (and more realistic than trying to tackle a bunch of new goals all at once). Sometimes though, I’m great at experimenting and finding a system or approach that works well for me but not so great at sticking to that system or approach. For example, I may set a schedule that makes great use of my most alert times of the day and keeps me productive, but I may not always follow that schedule like I should, allowing myself to get distracted. It’s a waste of all my hard work to figure out what works best for me if I don’t put that to good use after. In other words, when I’ve reached a wonderful place where I can just maintain a good system or habit, I sometimes make things harder on myself by not sticking to the plan. When you find something that works well for you, trust the work and experimentation that went into that plan/system and reap the benefits by sticking with it unless there’s a problem or it later stops working for you.

My other resolution is “Get uncomfortable,” and I’ll talk to you more about that later.

Have a great rest of the day!

PS – Have some good new year’s advice to share, or need some advice? Head on over to the Amazing Women Lawyers Facebook group.

So often we let our own discomfort and fear hold us back.  Here are six things to help you move forward, even if you’re uncomfortable:

1. 1. Remember your goal, and compare it to your fears when they pop up.  When I first created WLN, I was uncomfortable putting myself out there, but WLN was created to help amazing women like you – when I thought about how important that was, all the worries about putting myself out there didn’t seem like a big deal in comparison.

   2. Realize that others are uncomfortable too. It’s easy to think that we’re the only ones who feel uncomfortable or intimidated. Other people often look so confident and on top of things. I’ve been fortunate to spend lots of time with amazing women lawyers all over the country, many national leaders in our profession. As I got to know them, I learned that even though they appeared confident and wowed everyone around them, they still had their own fears and uncomfortable moments. They’ve found a way to keep rocking anyway though, and that makes them even more impressive.

   3. Pay attention to the positive moments that keep you going. I know there are amazing people like you reading these emails and seeing WLN posts on Facebook and Twitter, but it’s not always a two-way conversation, so I truly appreciate every single email reply, thank you, survey response, Twitter follow, and Facebook comment. Each one keeps me going and reminds me why I’m here. So, what are the positive moments that keep you going? Take the time to notice – they can make all the difference!

   4. Celebrate every brave step. When you take a step forward, even though you’re uncomfortable, do a little happy dance. (Even if the step wouldn’t seem so big without your fears in the way.)

   5. Realize the worst that can happen is probably not a big deal. Often we let our perfectionist side get in the way. Being a lawyer doesn’t help, we can overanalyze everything. The challenges we face as women lawyers certainly don’t make things easier. All these pieces make the potential negatives seem much bigger than they really are. So, what are you afraid to do, what goal are you uncomfortable tackling? And what’s the worst that can happen if you try?

   6. Remember that the discomfort won’t last forever. If you do what’s uncomfortable, eventually you’ll gain confidence and comfort.
       

Here’s to being uncomfortable, and to being amazing anyway!

1. Diversity Leads to Profits
2. Women Leaving the Law
3. Best Law Firms for Women
4. ABA Resolution on Sexual Harassment
5. Data on Women Laterals and Insight on Retaining Women

1. Diversity Leads to Profits. Forbes discusses another report addressing the profitability of diversity and showing that gender diversity among management increases profitability even more than was previously thought. In addition, culturally and ethnically diverse management teams can expect to see better profits.

2. Women Leaving the Law. “If steps are not taken to change the current trend, the percentage of women equity partners will remain stuck at under 20% for decades to come.” – an initiative of ABA President Hilarie Bass is focused on long-term careers for women in the law. Discussions about “women leaving the law” are also taking place across the country, including at a summit to discuss and better understand why women leave the profession. Reasons discussed include work/life balance, unconscious bias, and pay gap, and next steps include an ABA statistical study on long-term career paths for women lawyers, a survey to understand solutions being used by firms and individuals, and focus groups with women who have had long careers in the law. Meanwhile, lawyer Erin Cowling suggests we “…stop asking why are women leaving. Instead, we need to start asking why is the legal profession forcing women out?”

3. Best Law Firms for Women. Lists like the Working Mother 2017 50 Best Law Firms for Women gives some insight into what law firms can do to increase the number of women equity partners.

4. ABA Resolution on Sexual Harassment. At the recent ABA mid-year meeting in Vancouver, the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession introduced a resolution that “urges that all employers adopt and enforce policies to ‘prohibit, prevent, and promptly redress’ harassment and retaliation based on ‘gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation, and the intersection of sex with race and/or ethnicity.'” The resolution prompted discussion of and attention to intersectionality (the idea that some lawyers are dealing with other issues in addition to sex-based issues, e.g., women of color face sexual harassment in different ways and at different rates) as well as including men in discussing and addressing sexual harassment.

5. Data on Women Laterals and Insight on Retaining Women. This AL article discusses interesting data and trends on women switching firms and the effect that may have on the advancement of women. The data suggests that women outperform as partners but tend to move earlier in their careers and to lower profit-per-partner firms. The article also discuses women’s perception of the risk of not progressing in their careers as a potential factor.

Today, we’re going to talk about one simple thing you can do to start dealing with the stress you feel every day.

So , if I asked you to name one thing in your life that regularly causes you stress, you might say “work” or “traffic” or “this case I’ve been working on,” but the things that cause us stress are usually much more specific. What exactly is it about those things that cause you stress?

There is usually something specific that you can pinpoint. For example, perhaps it’s not work generally that causes you stress, but maybe your stress level rises…

• When you split your attention/multitask
• When you look at your email inbox
• Each time you add something to your to-do list
• When you see your cluttered desk
• When you get interrupted
• When you notice you’re feeling tired and are moving more slowly
• When you wrap up for the day and see what’s left undone

Learning what causes your stress can be a game changer in two main ways:

1. Instead of just letting your stress levels rise and grow, unchecked, stop and assess. When you know the reason behind the stress, that knowledge can dramatically reduce the effect of whatever is causing it (plus, you’ll be developing the habit of pausing when you feel stress and taking the wind out of its sails) – huge benefits you can start realizing right away!

2. When you have insight into what’s causing your stress, you can design your day in a way that removes much of that stress (for example, imagine having a system that let you enjoy the things you love about work but with much of the stress removed) – we’ll dig into how to do that a little later on.

For now, the next time you feel that familiar tense feeling or knot in your stomach – stop. Have a piece of paper or note on your phone, and write it down: Exactly what just caused your stress? If you’re not sure, write down what you were doing/thinking at the time, and notice patterns later.

Here’s to less stress,
Kate